Paula

By Lucas Gonzalez

You said all we love

we leave behind,

and that
was the hardest part.

You said that life
is like a whitetail flashing

on the blind, high road of doves.

I was just another aimless driver

with tired eyes
chasing starfire

to the spiraling end of strife.

All you love, you will give up:

both the wheel
and your want of flight.

And you kept staying out
until daylight.

I would assassinate the laws of physics

just to watch the sun creep through the vines

together one last time
in the bitter morning.

So, when summer’s still far off,
and winter’s not yet gone,

O, my Paula —

just to say your name
brings weight back to my feet

and I drown

The mercury of pavement
has become sand

in the cupped hands
of every life
unrealized.

Deep inside,

O, my Paula,

I died, and now,

I have come back

to where once we lived
to come to terms with

all I would have yesterday denied,

but it’s too late.

The recognizable landmarks seem to fade

& here I am another day
with your name on my guitar.

Wherever in this world you have been,

Dancing on the fevered
stage of night,

I hope you’re still living

but if for some reason,
you never started,

this song’s for you

and I said it would be.

You deserve the whole world,
Paula:

here it is

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Lucas Gonzalez

Lucas Gonzalez / About Author

Lucas Gonzalez is a poet from New York City. His first novel, Maple Machine (2006), was published by 826 National (McSweeney's Press). A recent Pushcart Prize nominee, Lucas holds an MA from Middlebury College and is currently an MFA candidate at Columbia University, where he serves as Community Outreach Editor for Columbia Journal.

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